It’s taken me awhile to process my emotions and thoughts that surfaced while watching Tyler Perry’s “For Colored Girls”. I left the theater with the same feelings that come after a serious fight. My head was spinning. I felt dazed, confused, angry, hurt and in need of a rematch, but I wasn’t completely sure why. Surprisingly, it was BET that helped me sort it all out.
I don’t think it was a coincidence that BET chose to air the 5th Annual Black Girls Rock! Awards show the same weekend as the film’s premiere. After the beat down “For Colored Girls” put on me, I was amazed that a network known for perpetuating demeaning images of Black women was able to give me exactly what I needed. I get the feeling that many colored girls who tuned in agree.
My spirit was full watching Black women of various ages and crafts receive recognition for their greatness. Goosebumps spread across my body and tears welled up in my eyes as Kelly Price, Jill Scott, Ledisi (!) and Marsha Ambrosius sang their rendition of Nina’s “Four Women”. During their performance I felt affirmed. I felt seen.
These are the same feelings I had while reading Ntzoake Shange’s choreopoem and watching the television film [Rent it!!]. It was as if Ntzoake held up a mirror of love to all colored girls in hope that our reflection would tell us that every ordinary + devastating + hilarious + joyous + confused + heartbreaking + inspiring + triumphant + naive + thrilling and unfinished story that makes us who we are, matters. We matter. I matter.
While I’m not a fan of Tyler’s films, “For Colored Girls” IS his best. I could tell that he worked hard to remain true to the original work by incorporating many of its monologues and choosing to cast exceptional actresses [Love you Loretta & Phylicia!!]. BUT Tayari Jones put it best when she compared watching the film to looking into a “funhouse mirror” that “pulled, stretched and bent” images of herself and all the Black women she loves until they were unrecognizable. And unfortunately for Tyler, I’m also tired.
I’m tired of ONLY being depicted as broken, beaten, rejected and forgotten. I’m fed up with one dimensional images of our truth. I’m done with us futilely attempting to feed ourselves with a single story understanding of our lives because it’s all that the media cares to offer. In the words of Zora: “I am not tragically colored”!
Don’t recognize me as a Black woman because I’ve overcome/survived/endured. I want to be reminded just from being and accepting the whole of me.
I don’t blame Tyler – he shares the stories he knows and that resonate with him. He is simply a small part of a macrocosmic issue. I understand that if I want other voices to be added to the discussion, I must speak. So I’m sharing my truth through writing and any form of expression that moves me, and I’m encouraging other colored girls to do the same.
In an early 80s interview with Claudia Tate, Ntozake Shange shared that she wanted to speak to young girls coming of age. She says, “I wanted them to have information that I did not have. I wanted them to know what it was truthfully like to be a grown woman. I didn’t know. All I had was a whole bunch of mythology—tales and outright lies. I want a twelve-year-old girl to reach out for and get some information that isn’t just contraceptive information but emotional information.”
Me too.
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